What are the languages of love?

The 5 love languages are the thesis developed by Gary Chapman, Baptist pastor, marriage counselor and writer, in which the 5 main ways in which spouses give and receive love for each other are grouped. They are languages, codes through which we intend to demonstrate and perceive our partner's affection.

Each person has their own language of love, or languages, which can be more than one, and it is important to understand that the language of one does not necessarily match that of the other. This is important because this is the cause of many disagreements and separations, since people do not feel loved because they do not identify certain behaviors in the actions of the partner.

In this article you will learn about the 5 languages of love, which are "Words of affirmation", "Acts of service", "Quality time", "Physical touch", and "Receiving gifts".Check it out.

How to practice "Words of Affirmation

The first of the love languages to be looked at is "Words of Affirmation." This language refers to the need many people have to be explicitly acknowledged through compliments, statements, and any other ways that words can reinforce the positive feelings for them to feel love.

Below you will understand the love language "Words of Affirmation" in its main aspects, such as the need for frequent expression of feelings, authenticity and even thinking outside the box.Check it out.

Express them often

The need to hear about the feelings and impressions of the partner does not necessarily mean that the person who has by love language "Words of affirmation" needs constant affirmations. In fact, it is possible that this person just needs to feel safe through the words of the partner, and therefore it is necessary that this occurs frequently.

The main need here is for communication, so if this is one of your love languages or your partner's, understand that you need to be always open to communication and especially to positive recognition of the harmony that exists. The health of the relationship depends on this constant expression.

If it's hard to say, write

It may be that expressing feelings, praise and acknowledging positive points is very difficult for one of the partners, this usually has to do with the family environment in which they were raised. In some homes, criticism always comes first, and people really have blocks to talking about their feelings or praising their partner.

If this is the case for you or your partner, writing can be a good way to begin this important process. Leaving notes, writing letters, or even sending text messages by cell phone are alternatives that help communicate how you feel. It's important to understand that your partner needs to know about your positive feelings, not just what may be wrong.

Words are everything

Do not underestimate the power of a declaration of love, of gratitude. Express what you feel without fear of judgment. Train the use of words to be able to transmit what is truly within you when the time comes. Words can build or destroy great things, use them in your favor.

Be authentically you

It may take time at first to align your perceptions and your ability to express yourself, but lying, magnifying or deceiving your partner about your qualities should not be an option. This language serves to make real within the connection what is already real internally between partners, and only then will it have the desired effect.

Know which words he or she likes best

A key issue about using "Words of Affirmation" is that you are able to perceive what kind of affirmation your partner perceives as essential to the security of the relationship. Because of different upbringings, sometimes people identify different issues as important, such as beauty or intelligence.

Exalting something that the person doesn't think is important can even sound like an insult, so realize what qualities are most important to your partner, and be sure to show your appreciation when you notice that he has put in the work and is successful at it.

Think outside the box

For many it can be difficult to begin this process of using "Words of Affirmation." Because of lack of habit, words or ideas are often lacking, even though the feelings of admiration, respect and affection are true. In this case, be creative.

First observe: if this is your partner's language, he probably compliments you constantly, because he understands this as something positive. Take the time to understand this logic and do the same. Also understand that this block is in you, so at first you must be creative and think outside the box to be able to create your own statements.

How to practice "Acts of Service"

The language of love "Acts of service" says a lot about caring for the other, about the need to promote the well-being of the other, and with that to demonstrate affection. Thus, it may be that a person is not good at communication, has blocks for physical touch and other languages, but is always doing what is possible, in silence, so that the partner feels comfortable.

This is what the language of love "Acts of Service" is all about. Below you can follow the aspects of this noble and delicate language of showing love, such as the detail of the little things, attention to the needs of the other and more. Check it out.

Little things

It takes attention to identify the language of love "Acts of Service", because often the difference is in the little things. A snack that a person prepares, a laundry that is ironed before the partner's work or even a ride in the early morning. These are all examples of acts of service that demonstrate care and attention.

Unfortunately, many times this can go unnoticed, because they are everyday attitudes. However, the truth is that the person who does this kind of thing does it because they care, because they could let the other person solve their issues on their own. All these little things are proof that the other person's well-being is important, because the person themselves are important.

Pay attention to what the person doesn't like

It is quite common that the person who likes to care in this way has a tendency to want to do everything for the person, including what the person does not want or need. It is the typical case of the mother who spoils her son too much, and he creates a kind of anger for not having his freedom.

Thus, it is essential to make sure that the "Acts of Service" provided really make sense to the person you are receiving. This means not doing what the person doesn't like. It is also important to be careful not to do everything for the person, creating too much responsibility for you and making the person unable to take care of themselves.

Attention to the schedules of both

The biggest challenge for those who wish to demonstrate their love in the language of "Acts of Service", and also in other languages, in general, is to understand the need of the other, so as not to make your practice invasive of your partner's freedom. Therefore, in the case of acts of service, it is essential to develop the ability to pay attention to the schedules of both.

This means that in order to meet the need to provide assistance, one should neither deprive oneself of one's needs, nor force the other to accept what he or she does not need. One should always be able to understand what is necessary, without people stopping their activities to satisfy a whim of one of the parties. Over time this becomes unsustainable.

Use your strengths

It's also not necessary to develop a thousand skills just to satisfy your partner. In general, what has the most effect is to make time for your partner to use your skills for their well-being. So, if you're a cook, prepare a special meal to enjoy at home, if you're a craftsman, make a piece for your love, among other things.

This also applies for those who don't have "Acts of Service" as their primary love language. A good way to introduce this mechanism into your life is to do what you already do well specifically to nurture your relationship. Utilize your strengths and you will see the relationship flourish without much effort from learners.

How to practice "Quality Time

Many people have the love language "Quality time", which determines that in order to feel loved, it is enough that the special person is around, sharing moments and that this is a pleasant routine. So, it is basically about being able to share experiences and time with the partner.

Below you check out the top tips for increasing the frequency of quality time in your relationship, how to use active listening skills, eliminate technology, plan something, and more.

Ingredients and how to prepare

For you to be able to promote a "Quality time" with your partner, it is essential that you gather the necessary ingredients, which are willingness, interest, empathy, care and especially, much love to be experienced with two. From there, you must use your creativity to make special moments really happen.

Make eye contact

The greatest proof that someone is present is the eye contact. Many times, it is possible to be in the same environment and yet there is no interaction between people. By maintaining eye contact, there is indeed a presence, the realization of sharing a moment.

For many people this can be difficult, either because they don't have the habit or because they feel embarrassed to look at people and situations. Understand that this is absolutely important and demonstrates presence and attention. Work on your eye contact and you will see many changes in the way you relate.

Use active listening skills

Active listening means deeply processing the other person's words. You may identify bad patterns in them, which is why most avoid this practice. However, for conversations, and the relationship as a whole, to evolve, you both need to speak the same language, and that means identifying the other person's ideas and bringing them into your life for real.

Delete technology

So, a good way to promote "Quality Time" is to eliminate technologies during the time you and your partner are together. This ranges from putting aside cell phones and watching a movie together or even looking for really alternative ways to interact, like good conversation, walks in parks and trips, so that the only distraction is actually your love.

Focus on Quality

Spending time with your partner does not necessarily mean that you are enjoying that time with quality. In fact, many couples and family are indeed always together, present body, but these moments exist more for convenience or necessity than for the desire to be together.

In order to have a representation of love through quality time, it is necessary that this time is really lived with quality. It must be pleasant to be together with the partner, and this requires efforts. Pay attention to the subjects that you will talk about, or what you will eat. Understand that acting positively to create good moments is an attitude that will only bring benefits.

Plan something

Following the logic that it is possible, and necessary, to act positively to create moments of "Quality Time", a good alternative for this is to plan experiences that you understand will be pleasant to live together with your love. Schedule dinners, trips, cook something special, book a movie that you both want to see.

Just be careful not to impose anything that is only good for you. It is very important that you both enjoy this time equally. Don't be too bold at first, to avoid discord. Try to show that your main intention is just to be together in a pleasant way.

Develop a routine

Once you manage to execute your first plans to spend quality time with your love, make sure that it becomes a routine. You don't have to make it something exhausting, but it is very important not to allow the good times to stop happening after the initial excitement. This is what will fuel your love for a long time to come.

Be present

Within a relationship, one of the main issues is the presence of the partner, because no one chooses to be in a relationship to feel alone. Therefore, even if you understand that you work hard to ensure the family's livelihood, nothing replaces the presence, the feeling of being close by.

Invite him or her to your activity

If you're quite involved with your work, either because you're in high demand, or because you're truly passionate about what you do, consider inviting your partner into that world of yours.

Introduce your tastes to him, let him see why he likes it so much, and let him also be part of this universe in which you feel safe and comfortable.

How to practice "Physical Touch

The love language "Physical touch" determines the need for direct contact between partners or between people in a relationship in general. For people who have this language as their main language, it is essential to be able to physically feel the exchange of energy in order to recognize the love that exists in that relationship.

Here are the main ways in which physical touch becomes a language of love, such as kissing, hand-holding, snuggling, and more.

Kiss

Kissing applies to love relationships between partners, and is probably the most sublime form of love perception. It is through kissing that partners establish contact and connect physically from the beginning of dating. Kissing reveals hidden feelings, without having to talk about them.

Therefore, in all relationships it is essential that the couple continue kissing deeply and intensely even as time passes. For those who have "Physical Touch" as their love language this is even more important.

Hand in hand

Holding hands is a form of reaffirmation of love for those who have "Physical Touch" as their language of love. Interlaced hands, in public or alone, are a security and constant contact, and reveal a permanent interest between partners.

Thus, holding hands even with the passage of time is a way to demonstrate that love still remains, and that this closeness between partners is important, even though the time of conquest has passed.

Cozy

The ability to snuggle in your partner's lap, to cuddle and be close always in touch, reveals a deep connection between the couple as they fit and feel comfortable right next to each other.

Thus, it is quite important to work on the ability to be close to your partner in the most ordinary moments, like watching a movie or just resting. For those who have "Physical Touch" as their love language, this is essential and should be cultivated.

Skin to skin touch

The need to feel your partner through skin touch is essential for those who have the love language "Physical touch". This direct contact establishes a deep connection, a feeling of completeness with the other's body. For those who do not have the habit of feeling their partner's touch, this should be worked on.

So, from a hug to sexual intercourse itself are ways to establish this contact, which makes people feel loved and belong to a relationship, a chemistry of love.

How to Practice "Receiving Gifts

Widely disseminated throughout history as a demonstration of affection, "Receiving gifts" is the last of the five languages of love. Thus, by receiving something material, which need not necessarily be expensive, many people feel loved and honored.

Below you follow the issues involved in this love language, like the sentimental value that comes attached, the determination of the love language and how to satisfy the partner.Check it out.

Sentimental value

Even though affection is attached to something material in the case of the love language "Receiving gifts", what matters in this case is the sentimental value of this attitude. Thus, the gift represents much more the memory and the will to make the other happy with something he or she likes, which is received as a demonstration of love by the one receiving the gift.

Therefore, it does not need to be an expensive gift to show love, it can even be a flower picked, a used outfit that the person likes a lot, among other things. The idea in this case is to demonstrate by the delivery of something a feeling of wanting well.

Determining his or her language

The languages of love are something very personal, each person has one according to their experience and their previous experiences with love. Therefore, it is not enough to know your love language to work on the relationship, you must also know the love language of your partner.

This is because, if your love language is "Receiving gifts", for example, you think you are declaring yourself by giving a gift. However, if your partner has another love language, he/she will not give as much importance to your gift, will hardly give you a gift, and with time you will not feel recognition within that relationship.

How to satisfy him or her

To satisfy the partner by the language of love "Receiving gifts" is very important to understand what the person likes, so that the gift is as much as possible a demonstration of care, affection and attention.

Giving a gift that the person doesn't like can sound offensive, as if you're not able to see their needs. Plus, it can even seem a little selfish, as if you want them to like what you like or what you want them to like.

The best thing to do is to try to get to know your partner and find out what they would like to gain.

Does every person speak at least one of the 5 love languages?

There may be many languages of love, but in essence, all people possess at least one of the five love languages discussed in this article. Often, it is possible that people have more than one, or even identify with all five love languages, because they understand that they are all demonstrations of love that touch them and reinforce their feelings.

In addition, knowing the 5 languages of love is also a great way to understand that there is more than one way to show affection, to give and receive love. By identifying these languages and starting to practice them in your daily life, it is very likely that you will realize that you also identify with one or all of them.

In time, you will learn that it is possible to feel love from practicing all of them, and that most problems of insecurities in relationships can be cured. The 5 Love Languages strengthen feelings and perpetuate the delicious sense of discovery of early relationships, increasing the chances of lasting love.